This is the last post I make from the apartment I’ve lived in for 12 years.

Today was a VERY good day!

Truth wins over fiction. The sky is shining, the birds are singing and the children are all snug and safe in their beds. BOO-FREAKING-YA!

No, you’re not supposed to understand this post, don’t try. Every once in a while it’s time for A Quick Shout-Out Non-sequitur.

(It could have been worse peeps, this could all have been in binary)

ONE OF THESE DAYS:

I will learn to change with the blinds down in order to silence the deafening applause.
I will tell people how I really feel. Without the hammer.
I will learn the art of sarcasm.
I will learn to fly like Superman. Naked. Just to piss people off.
For a change of pace I will hug someone who wants to be hugged.
I will make a mistake and they will catch me. Bwa!ha!ha!
Netflix and Blockbuster will let me down at the same time.
I will have better friends. To do this I need to lie about the old ones to make them seem better, otherwise I have no chance.
I will climb the mountain, just to push the old guy off and start charging people.
I will walk up to the change booth at the casino and shout MAKE ME A LOBSTER FISHERMAN!
I will walk a mile in my father’s shoes. While he’s still wearing them.
I will not only laugh in the face of adversity but I’ll tickle the little fella too until he wets himself.
I will be merciful to those that don’t deserve it, for a change.
I will learn where Billy Mays lives and see if OxyClean really does get out blood stains. Lots and lots of blood stains.
I will wear a cape made of Vieux Boulogne/ Limburger cheese trimmed with Ritz crackers
(and a lovely butter knife clasp.)
Someone will do the smart thing and surprise me (see need new friends.)
I will learn to let go while performing autoerotic asphyxiation.
I WILL HUFF ARIANNA HUFFINGTON!!
I will do the impossible - be wrong.
I will save Schroedinger’s cat. That bastard tries to hide his cruelty to animals but I’m not fooled. You hear that you sick @#!%*er?!
I will reward my neighbor for learning a new trick. Taking out the garbage.
I will be as fortunate as all of you by learning how to bask in my own glory.
I will force feed supermodels and make a killing making Foie gras out of their bloated livers.
I will staple bread, butter-side up to the back of a cat and drop it to see if it will destroy the Universe. Just for kicks.
I will make the largest tree-shaped air freshener in the world and hang it over New Jersey.
The Sky will bleed red with my rage and the Earth will bleed brown with my ah… poop?
The word Thespians won’t sound so dirty.
I will get the studios to green-light Battlefield Earth 2 for John Travolta. Best Train Wreck, EVER! (Godzilla w/Matthew Broderick 2nd best.)
Netflix and Blockbuster will catch on.
The Internet will be filled with the angry cries of Star Trek Fans immediately after the 2009 Star Trek blashphemy comes out. Oh wait, it’s already happened before it’s released. Nevermind. (Don’t you just hate Trekkies/ers with their stupid homebuilt Time Machines? You don’t get this kind of hysterical toddler crying jags from Star Wars fans, even after Chapters 1-3.)
All the Sharpie markers in the world will dry up at once and force us to mug little kids for their $1 36 pack rainbow ones.

I heard a lot about this movie before it came out and have to admit it really peaked my interest. I’ve seen movies like City of Joy and while the situation in the slums of India are not totally unknown to me I was wavering on seeing it, despite the critical acclaim (something anyone smart usually pays no attention to). See, if it was good, I knew it would be a truly great and wonderful film but if it was bad, I would be terribly, terribly disappointed.

Today, I finally decided to go see Slumdog Millionaire and all I can really say is this: It’s truly one of the best movies I have ever had the pleasure seeing! Best movie ever? Maybe. I was captured from the second the movie started; completley fascinated you might say and never did I feel it was slow or I got bored (a rarity with what passes for films these days).

This movie was touching without going overboard, smart without being unrealistic and showed the concept of hope in a whole new light, at least for me. A love story, a tale of desperation and an unrepentant look at the impoverished of India (something the government there doesn’t want to talk or do anything about) all in one. And more. Much much more.

I’m very glad I went and was able to add a new original movie to my list of Great Films. Very, very glad. I can’t stress enough that you should see this wonderfully fascinating and original masterpiece of story-telling in the theaters while you can. And if for some reason you do not think this film is good, it’s because you’re dead inside. Like republicans, democrats or Switzerland. Yeah, Switzerland…

UPDATE: I just finished watching the Academy Awards and I’m very pleased to announce that Slumdog Millionaire won Best Picture as well as oscars for Best Director, Adapted Screenplay, Original Score, Original Song, Cinematography, Film Editing and Sound Mixing! 8 Oscars a well-deserved sweep, indeed! Congrats to everyone that made such a good film possible; a film that was going direct to DVD but some smart people worked hard and saved it! Jai Ho!

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Here’s the pictures I took at CES this year. Enjoy! Click on the talk bubble for the captions and if you want to see the whole thing larger just go here to my CES 2009 photo-album.