In this special time of the year, this Holiday Season I have been reminded by several people that it is better to give than to receive. Other innane and equally stupid sayings and sayers abound like “give till it hurts” and “genorosity is it’s own reward”. More frightening is that there are actually people out there that say these things and they must be stopped before they hurt somebody!

Fine. I’m gonna GIVE until it HURTS you and you know what? You’d better reward me for it or I’ll give ’till it hurts you again…receive my thoughts and in the spirit of that last holiday, be thankful for it! BWA-HA-HA! MUWA-HA-HA! MWA-HAHAHA!

Ah shaddup.

Next time I walk past that Salvation Army volunteer I’m going to use that bucket to make change. If I’m feeling particularly inquisitive I’m gonna ask them why are they charging $15 for a used, old dusty Billy Bass (a Patrick Norton favorite) when you can get a new one for $7. Have you ever been in one of their Thrift stores? Thrift must mean ‘bilk the poor’ in the new dictionaries…

…maybe I should just stand on the corner and ring my own damned bell. My bucket will read “Navarino UnInCorporated: 50% off all donations.” You know what they say, competition is good for the consumer. And if that lady looks at me funny, I KNOW I can take her. Want a piece of me? Bring it on, sister.

I’m thinking of dressing up as Santa and taking the presents away from my adopted niece and nephews. If they cry, I’ll just go “Hey, didn’t your momma ever tell you it’s better to give than receive?” and then I’ll take the Tonka truck. I’d do the same thing on Hanukkah but I have no idea how to spell it, what to dress up as or how to spin a top. Likewise on Kwanza but I just don’t think I can pull that one off.

Now I know there will be two people out there are reading this in shock, getting angry and thinking I’m serious while the other 9000 are laughing not thinking I am. To those two people I salute you, HELL YES I’M SERIOUS!

Oh and Happy Holidays everyone…. PS>>> Click here and help a kind soul save thier cat. True story.

Turkey Day went very well for us today. We set down to the table with some friends and neighbors, my parents, a 24lb turkey, lots of stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes and of course pumpkin pie and a double-chocolate bunt cake. :drool: While the turkey was a’cooking I went and saw Treasure Planet. I enjoyed it but not as much as I did Lilo N Stitch. I so relate to Stitch I’m thinking about suing Disney for using my likeness and personality in their hit movie…

We just finished eating an hour ago, everyone planted on a couch or chair, we’re all more stuffed than the turkey was. Urrrrp! Ahhhh….

And lookie here we are around the dinner table and hey, look I introduced an older neighbor to Unreal Tournament. She really got into the holiday spirit by blowing the bejeesus outta computer generated opponents. (Her face has been blurred to protect her identity)

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving and got into the spirit by either spending this holiday with friends and family or fragging the hell outta bots in UT, or just having fun in general and being thankful for the little things like love, friends, family and the small but wonderful fact that you’re still alive and kicking.

Now smile and enjoy the virtual group hug that I now give to you all :hug:

(I get so many wallets that way…)

Is this thing on?! Welcome Ladies, Gentlemen and Cousin It to my little corner of Labmistress.com. A place where birds sing, clouds part, the sun shines and the mental cries of my victims echo through the web to caress the ears of random passers-by (and some stupid deer). A place where I can finally be free to express myself…

…ok THAT’s a joke. Like I ever felt the need not to express myself?

WHO AM I?

Click on the About Me link on the right and find out more than you ever wanted to know, if you dare. I guarantee it’s time ill-spent.

WHO DO YOU HAVE TO THANK FOR THIS?

Darci Wood of Labmistress.com, formerly from TechTV’s The Screen Savers. Yup, people are already lining up around the block to thank her for setting me up with a blog. Ooh, lookies - they have pitchforks and torches! Cool!

Anyways, welcome to my blog. I hope you’ll all enjoy the experience and have high expectations (this way it’ll take less effort on my part to disappoint). I want to thank Darci, Observer and TeSS for helping me get this party started. They ROCK!

Buckle up Opey, we’re going for a ride…