Well once again the French are laughing at us and with good reason. Forget the “boycott” where Americans bought and then poured French wine in the streets, this one’s much better. Here in Vegas the Paris Hotel/Casino stopped flying the French flag thinking that if they did, no one would notice that the huge hotel/casino with a 400′ Eiffel Tower (1/2 scale), Arc de Triomphe and Paris Opera House, was French. Not to mention all of the Le signs all over the place and the security guards dressed up as gendarmes (think Foreign Legion). Nope, none of that is going to tip off the crazy people that the resort is French; it was that stupid flag they were flying that clued everyone in. Remove it and POOF no one’s going to confuse it as looking all…well…french. Yessiree, glad we pulled a David Copperfield and we’re all disguised and all now that we took that flag down. WTF?! Hello! *tap* *tap* Is this thing on?! It’s not FRENCH anyways you friggin’ morons, it’s American!!!! Helllooooo! Who the kelp hasn’t heard of a themed casino is Las Vegas by now?! Time to play whack-the-mole with my fellow stupid Americans. Again. God, the French are so laughing at us right now…

If that didn’t take the proverbial cake, I was shopping at the only place most of us can afford - the local 99cent store. Something’s always bothered me about that place, besides the many calls for price checks and the SPAM lunchmeat knockoffs. Well, it finally hit me today as I was staring at their plastic bags. Yes, that’s right the answer’s there; look at the picture on the left. Take your time, I’ll wait. Got it yet? No. Okey-dokey, no pressure…

*whistles tune from Man of La Moncha*

That’s right - according to the bag, the 99cent store is open 9 days a week! 9?! Geezus those poor shmucks have to work all week to get their days off only to have to go right back to work the minute they get off. Either that, or the 99cent store has played havock with the Space/Time Continuum again without filling out the proper forms.

*sigh* I can just hear the French taunting us about our being stupid again.

FRENCH GUARD: “I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! … Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff]