A week ago, at 5:45am, forest ranger Teddy Wilheim drove into Sequoia National Park as he had done for the last 45 years only to find nothing but total devastation.

“The forest was just…gone,” Ranger Wilheim shrugged. “There was nothing left but some scattered twigs, pieces of bark and a wasteland of just…oh my god …stumps. *sob* Someone *gasp* took all the trees overnightJesus, they cut ‘em all down! Who would do such a thing? My lord, how is this possible?! *sob* I *sniff* knew all the trees by sight… I … I named them. They talked to me. *sob* Told me things. Secrets. They liked it when I rubbed up against them. Naked. I petted them. I knew they loved me. THEY TOLD ME THEY LOVED ME! *sniff* But now they’re … they’re … they’re gone! allgoneohmygod! whocoulddo! suchathing!!! wwwwAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa!” *sob*

Unlikely as it seems all the trees in the park were ripped out of the ground in a single evening - from the Coast Redwoods (the world’s tallest trees) to the prized gems of the park, the 3000 year old Giant Sequoias - cut down to nothing but mere stumps; all were gone.

Co-incidently, a week later millions of people all over the world started receiving a new batch of AOL 9.0 disks in the mail. In wood cases. Wood. Not a simple cardboard CD mailer, or a tin but an actual wood case holding a single AOL 9.0 disk. Yep. Nothing wrong with that, nosiree…

To date the police, local officials and the Federal Gov’t (incl. the Dept. of Fish and Game) have no leads or suspects in the wholesale slaughter of Sequoia National Park. Nor are they expecting any breakthroughs in the case anytime soon.

Sonufa… damn you to Hell, Steve Case!! You could have stuck to cardboard, you evil bastard!!

I’ve got a cold. Whoopie for me! Why is it that people make a big deal about colds? Sure, I can understand it if we all died when we got one but come on people; it’s not fatal. Yeesh. I have a cold, wow. My nose is runny, I have a stuffed head and my voice has changed a bit too. Cool! So you know what I’m going to do?

Run to the hospital?
Beg for a flu shot?
Pretend having a cold means something bad?

This is what I’m going to do. I’ll take some aspirin, cough medicine and at night those cool green Nyquil tablets. Woo-hoo! And I’ll be seeing you all again on the next blog entry. Until then, no well wishes, no get betters, no you poor poor sod; I have a cold, that’s all. *achoo* Ta-ta…

PS. People have tried to get me sick for weeks now, so yay for them.

If anyone is wondering where I’ll be this week I’m going to be totally buried in the joyful and exciting CES experience. I’ve got a car, people to meet there and friends that just want to walk the show floor all day long and have lots of fun fun fun! It’s great living here is Vegas because the show’s easy to get to, no jetlag and pretty much everything and anyone comes to your door here. *sigh* This is great!

I’m going to hooking up with some of our Labmistress crew and we’re all going to have a blast this year. No hectic schedules, no interruptions, no worries; that’s the way it should be.

Oh, and although not all my friends could come out this year, or do CES w/me don’t think for a second it wouldn’t have been even more fun with you here. It would have. See you all in a few days… *waves* Meep! Meep!

I just have to say it, some people should not watch Wheel of Fortune. The urge to scream at the poor lady contestant is just too much for some people.

BTW Scott Herriott was at Artistfirst.com on a streaming broadcast today talking about his Bigfoot documentary, Squatching, as well as his latest documentary and future projects. Scott’s a good pal, a great guy and a really tall bastard…

As everyone already knows it was a Merry Xmas indeed at the Navarino house. However what most of you don’t know is something really unexpected, strange and bizarre happened today. It was so weird ‘n wild that it could only be explained as the lingering after-effects of a Navarino Christmas…

…you see folks, after I got some cash, pretty much everyone knows I had a few goals on how to spend the $$ I got. One was a better chair than the metal folding one I use (Darci and Kevin ruined me w/their O-chairs), a stand-alone DVD player for my room, at least a GIG of PC3200 RAM for my new mobo and a few other little things like a better mouse for the folks and a new keyboard. Well kids, you see both Santa and God work in mysterious ways.

One of the gifts I gave to 2 of my special friends (and neighbors) was an IOU for lunch at the restaurant of their choice. These angels (among others) always took me out for lunch all the time and refused to let me pay for my meals when I had the money. So as Xmas gifts they had no choice but to let ME take THEM out for a change and treat them like they deserve; which REALLY makes me feel good. It was today, New Year’s day that I was taking them out and I was really looking forward to paying that check when it came.

So I went to my neighbor A’s place and before getting her in the car I took out the garbage. As I tossed the refuse in the dumpster I saw a set of wheels sticking out of the bin. Curious, I peered inside, grabbed the sucker and what do you think came out? A freaking fabric pneumatic cushioned office chair w/arms, lumbar support and nothing wrong with it (other than covered in cat & dog hair)! Whoa, that’s weird these suckers are usually at least $59 in most stores. It was pretty well cushioned, no ultra-cheapie crud with no rips, tears or defects. And someone threw it away?! *Ding!* It’s still Xmas!! *Ding!*

I then looked down and I saw an HP Pavilion box with some stuff in it. There was a keyboard, a 3 button mouse, a perfectly fine Thrustmaster X joystick, a blank DVD-R disk…and a Hitachi K-2 DVD-Player! Kaaa-ching!!!

So I threw it all in the trunk, dumped it off at my place and took the ladies to lunch (which was splendid). We had a ball and then afterwards I got home and checked out what I’m calling my Garbage Xmas booty! The keyboard and mouse work great, the chair cleaned up real nice after some attention from a vacuum cleaner (it’s comfy and doesn’t smell) and after pounding out the dent in the DVD Player and modifying an old appliance chord to power it I was delighted to find there’s nothing wrong with it, it works just fine! Boo-ya! I cleaned it up and put it by the TV and now all I have to do is find a universal remote that’ll work on it and I’m all-happy as I could be. The sucker even has all the controls on the front as well as a shuttle wheel for FF, RW, pause and frame-by-frame controls. *sigh*

How’s that for luck? Now all I gotta do is dumpster dive some PC3200 DDR RAM and look out for Claudia Schiffer and I’m all smiles!

See kids, Christmas Miracles can come true… even on New Year’s Day. *sniff* I’m so happy I could (*censored*)! MERRY XMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! *waves* My butt is comfy at last and I don’t have to buy a DVD player anymore - Boo-freaking-ya!