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Dear Sirs:
Please let your superiors know that I, a loyal consumer of your wonderful products, am boycotting your company forthwith. I can no longer keep a blind eye on what your company is up to lately without cashing in what’s left of my poor, tired and lackluster soul. I have tried to give your company the benefit of the doubt far too many times and can no longer in good conscience support your company by buying your products and the products of any companies you hold or are affiliated with.
While I hope that one day your executives change their evil ways I cannot wait any longer in the hopes there will be a positive change over there. Please see to it that no one from your company responds as I wish this separation between us (consumer and company) to be complete. I personally hope that everyone at your company burns in the total, writhing fiery pit of vileness that they so richly deserve. As the flames of pure torture lick their way to cleansing the filth that infest all of you over there I hope that your shrill, agonizing screams of rebuking reach my ears so I can dance to your pain in return for the cruel anguish you have inflicted on me and many others in the world.
I shall dance to the beat of your suffering.
I shall sing the Song of Revenge as you all get yours as you roast.
I shall drool at the smell of your cleansing, toasting flesh.
I shall laugh as you scream afire.
I shall whistle a merry counterpoint to your wailing.
As the flames devour you my anguish will be cleansed with joyous rapture.
How dare you inflict Justin Timberlake on us during the half-time show you %^$#@ers at the NFL and MTV! YOU! WILL! PAY!
Sincerely,
Vincent Navarino
To: The NFL
cc: MTV
Subj: The Real NFL Halftime Show Controversy
*click* email sent…
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