Today was a good day. For once I lured my victim closer into shovel range and… oh, hello there kids, how are you?

What Kaylie? Who’s that? A friend. What’s that again, Jimmy? Oh, he’s sleeping. Why is he napping on the pavement? Well because it’s good for his back. Yes, I know he’s on his belly Brandon; that’s because he rolled over. You roll over in your sleep, right. Yes, everyone does. What’s that? Your mommy rolls over on your da- well, yeah but it’s not the same thing exactly Erin. No, he’s not bleeding, that’s ketchup. He had a Carl’s Jr. burger and you all know how messy they are right guys? The blanket? Well that’s what we call a tarp, Samantha but yes it’s to make sure he doesn’t get cold while he’s sleepy time… huh? Yes I know we’re in a dessert and it’s hot but… look kids really let’s just let Uncle Walter sleep here and forget all about what we saw here today and I’ll buy everyone an ice-cream cone, ok? OK?

Hey, I have an idea kids, you want to walk around to my backyard and step into my Transmogrifier? What’s it do? Well come and find out… yeah it does look cool doesn’t it, Brad? It makes kids all grown up and gives them superpowers and endless portions of ice cream. Just walk right into the box with the arrow kids.

*BRRrrrrrrEEEeeeeooOOOOWWwWwwwwWW*

Yeah, it sounds real cool doesn’t it, Jackie. Next! *BRRrrrrrrEEEeeeeooOOOOWWwWwwwwWW* Keep going everyone *BRRrrrrrrEEEeeeeooOOOOWWwWwwwwWW* single file! *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* Let’s go everyone we’re all going to get superpowers and ice cream *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* yay! **BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW*What? *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* Why yes it does look *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW*like a wood chipper now *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* that you mention it Tim my good man, *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* come on last one’s a rotten *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* egg. *BRRrrrEEEeeeooOOOOWWwWwwWW* About time, wow that was close. Stupid ki– uh, why hello there other kids, I see they let you guys out of high school early today. What’s that? Oh, uhm, yeah… there was a huge accident a minute ago. See a truck carrying Cherry Slurpie Mix and a Hamburger chuck wagon…