My Favorite Uncle in the Whole Wide World called today and let me know that in the past few weeks they had three winter storms with 9 days of snow that left over 19″ of White Powdery Death in my old home state, New York. A lot of family and friends right now are pretty miserable because of all the cold weather and being constantly burried the white stuff. They’re cold, they’re wet, they’re miserable and it’d suck real bad for me if I couldn’t do anything about it; but I can, dammit!

I’m here to help my friends and family in this, their time of need in my own…

(Ok, do I really need to finish this sentence? Let’s just do it.)

Helpful Links:

Avalanche Awareness & Avalanche Survival & Rescue
Avalance Awareness
Survival Tips: How to Survive an Avalanche
Avalanche Survival - How to Survive an Avalanche
Winter Survival Skills

And last but certainly not least, here’s the most helful link of them all:

Current Weather Conditions in Las Vegas

Now if you’re like me and live in Las Vegas, there are a few questions that you might have. I’ll try to answer them as best as I can:

1. What is snow?
Frozen precipitation in the form of white or translucent ice crystals in complex branched hexagonal form. It most often falls from stratiform clouds, but can fall as snow showers from cumuliform ones. It usually appears clustered into snowflakes. -taken from an online dictionary
2. What does it look like?
It looks like snow, duh. According to Snowcrystals.com, no two snowflakes are exactly alike. Evidently even higher up, cloning is banned… (site has pics of snowflakes for the curious or still befuddled)

3. Is snow cold or hot?
There is some debate about this in intellectual circles. To almost everyone I have ever talked to, or anything I’ve read, snowflakes are initially cold, although my upstairs neighbor says otherwise from time to time…

4. Why do people who don’t like snow live in a place that snows?
Why do people who hate tornadoes live in Tornado Alley? (psst… God hates mobil homes that’s why he sends tornadoes to clean them up when there’s too many) Seriously, it’s not that they hate snow, it’s that they hate it when their urine freezes as they’re relieving themselves on a tree, lamp post or hot dog cart…

Well, hope that all helped, I have to go outside now and get the mail without a coat, shirt, pants or socks. Not that that’s saying much because that’s how I get the mail everyday, even in New York. See, I’ve got nothing to hide, people. Why hello there, neighbor!

(Whoa, my ears are buzzing like mad, I think there are a few people looking for me right now… exit stage left. A-cha-cha-cha!)