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Whoa were we hammered big-time at work yesterday (and not in the fun alcohol way either)! Geez… the calls were all coming faster than we could take them and countless people were lining up in the room needing some help. Even a 20′ walk to a printer had at least 2-3 people grabbing you for some problem or another. At one time I was on the phone, remote connecting to another PC to fix someone’s problem and swapping parts out of a buggy laptop to a new one to get a guy who really needed it up and running. My compatriots were all just as busy in the trenches as what seemed to be a never-ending plague of problems hit us all at once and the wave just kept a’coming with no end in site.

Dazed, tired and more than a little hungry I dragged my carcass out for a late lunch, snagged a buffet and proceeded to eat everything in sight like a madman. In mid-gorge I began to feel much better, growling at anyone that tried to take my plate, I wolfed down platter after platter of tasty victuals. I stuffed fists full of food into my gaping maw for a solid hour; eating anything and everything I could find. I *know* Vegas is missing a few tourists right now; they came a little too close and I ate them. *urp* I had Korean, Chinese and a little Mexican. Yum! *urrrrrrrrpppp!!!*

When I got back the calls and cries for help had finally abated and things were calm once again. We were all so beseiged, running here and there to help everyone; juggling quite a few things at once, it was so busy and you know what?

I LOVED EVERY @#!%^&ING MINUTE OF IT!

You know why? My coworkers. They’re all so great and (oh I so won’t tell them this out loud) wonderful, funny, smart and relaxed every day is a good one. I lucked into such a great group that truly made me feel welcome and part of them from Day #1. And the best part of it all… they’re twisted, merciless and cruel too. I’m FINALLY surrounded by my peers! Huzzah!

I like a mouse with balls. Always have. The weight, the feel, the mass… NOTHING can replace the pure, powerful, thunderous power of a mouse with balls! Neutered mice just cannot compete with the vibrant virile thrust of a mouse with huge BALLS. Sure a ball-less nancy mouse can sing higher notes in a choir wearing a dress and a stupid haircut but at the end of the day a mouse with balls can so kick his ass and steal his lunch money. Sure the nancy-mouse with the angelic voice might be closer to the Almighty, but the balled mouse can send him to the Almighty!

I’ve always insisted that my mice have balls; unlike silly people I accept no substitutes. No gelding mice for me, I don’t care how fast the little wusses can run. My mice have endurance, they can go for hours… nancy-mouse whimpers and cries in a dark corner wondering why he’s not as developed as the other mice he’s seen in the gym shower. Baby smooth? Nope. My manly mouse’s hairs have hair!

Mice are supposed to have balls. They’re supposed to be strong, weighty, fierce and confident; not little, wispy, frail prancing little ice-skating pixies proud to have won a bronze medal! A BRONZE medal? They freaking created the sucker because they knew you little ball-less pixie skating nancy-mice would cry all the time when you lost BY TWO you disgusting crying little freaks! Twits. Crying little twits. Oh, how you disgust us all…

As I was saying, I prefer manly potent humping-the-furniture mice but at work we use opticals and after a few weeks I’m kinda giving a Dell Optical mouse a try at home. I still have my trusty manly Logitech three button BALLED mouse connected too (prefer that for games) but the lithe optical waif isn’t bad for figure-skating all over my monitor. I just wish the sucker wouldn’t cry so much when the Logitech teases it and buggers it’s momma…

Mozilla Search dropdown: Why the kelp did Firefox miss this?

OK, so one of the first things I do at work after figuring out the network proxy settings is install Firefox on my computer. This even after I loathe Firefox for not having that cool drop down search selector in the address bar that Mozilla has. (Mouse over pic.) Anywhoo… every time the great and wonderful person that hired me looks over my shoulder and asks me to go somewhere that’s POPUP heavy of course I have to double-click it to load, thanks to that nifty popup blocker Mozilla and Firefox share. Every time this happens right over my shoulder I hear “Get a real browser” or “you should use a browser that works.”

He means Internet Explorer!

And he’s kidding and I like him for it.

Oh… and all my coworkers are really sick bastards too. Yabba-dabba doo!

Peace y’all…

For those that missed the real cool April Fools Day gag I had on my blog you can click here to find the archive of the whole thing. Man, did I have you $%#@!ers fooled or what… I rule. NEVER FORGET I AM THE PUPPET MASTER!!

312 comments in under 7 hours. And all of you suckers. Hehehe… dummies!

I rock.