It’s about time the RIAA started an effective anti-piracy campaign. Dear RIAA - start handing out free iPods with the inscription on the left and you might get people to change their evil, copying ways. It beats you suing elderly grandmothers and little kids, plus you’ll have plenty of spare time to go after world leaders instead of the elderly and preschool children. Of course the former would affect real change but would also require balls, so we won’t hold our breath.

Rant #2: I’m against private nudity; I think people shouldn’t be allowed naked in the privacy of their own homes. I mean, we don’t know what those sickos are doing in there so we should pass a law that nudity should only be allowed in public. When the kids start asking what’s that, explain it to them by also pointing. Pictures are worth a thousand words. Also, it would make going to the opera tolerable and ratings for the Olympics and Nascar would go certainly go up. Who wants to look at %$#@!ing cars go around in a circle? Hey, look Billy… there’s a car going around a circle! Hey, look… there he goes again. Circle. Circle. Circle. Woo-HOO! YAY! Circle. Circle. Circle! WOOO! WOOO! YAAAY! (I’m joking about everything except the public nudity, folks.)

Rant #3: I spent all day looking for an audio/video switcher and some cables and guess where I found all of them at the end of the day? Cheapest? WAL-MART! I spent all day out and I could have just went straight to %^$#@!ing Wal-MART and been back home in under 30mins? $%#@! you Mom and Pop stores, from now on I’m just going right to WAL-MART and getting what I want cheaper, I don’t care what they represent. What they’ve done. Who they’ve hurt. As long as they have cheaper prices and I don’t have to waste all my time running around looking for the best deals when WAL-MART has them I’ll happily watch all the other stores close to make for even bigger WAL-MARTs. I’ll crate up that baby cow myself if it helps make it that tasty. *drool* I’m an omnivore and a consumer; don’t waste my time or money and keep the little heffers a’coming, thanks.

Rant #4: Leonardo DeCaprio. Thank you for not appearing in any movies I wanted to see. Bless you.

Rant #5: Starforce. A software copy protection tool used by PC video game makers that installs as a hidden device driver, without your knowledge or consent. Not only that but it has been reported by users to cause possible system instabilities and hardware failures. Starforce is appearing even in game demos, and is sneakily being mass distributed attached to “free full game downloads” such as TrackMania Nations. Want to learn more about Starforce, look at sites via Google like Boycott Starforce. They have information as well as a compiled list of games that have Starforce in them and ways to remove it from your system. Lots of people are boycotting game makers that use this form of protection that installs without your consent and I’m all for not giving my cash to people that load hidden device drivers, malware and rootkits on my computer. Morons.

Rant #6: I’m being buried alive by all my freaking remote controls! It’s like they’re the 4 Remotes of the Apocalypse! (I wish there were only four.) Someone save me by offering a programmable, cheap and easy to use learning remote that doesn’t have 987 stupid tiny buttons! COME ON PEOPLE! Where are you in my time of need Jim Louderback? *sniff* Email me and I’ll give you my mailing address. *sniff*

Rant #7:I freaking bought that hype that a component video cable that split the video signal of my DVD player into three signals would offer a better, sharper picture than regular plain jain composite video cable so I bought one. It’s a little sharper but EVERYTHINGS TOO RED AND YELLOW NOW! So %^$#@! you, hypesters. (On a good note I can just go return it to WAL-MART…)

*sigh* That’s it for now. Join me tomorrow when I skewer a telemarketer…