Rockstar Tries to Revamp Image by Developing Pong for the XBox360
Originally Posted by Stuart Miles
Parodied by: The Angry Computerist
-Rockstar has turned its back on controversy by announcing that it will be developing the modern day version of Pong for the Xbox360. “Our goal was to create a game that is perfectly addictive in its focused simplicity, a game that showcases the true possibilities of a next gen experience, not just in looks but in feel and pace", stated Sam Houser, Founder and Executive Producer of Rockstar Games.

In this version of Pong, players can car-jack their opponents rectangle, drive all across the screen picking up hookers and taking a baseball bat to emergency service personnel and then having sex with their corpses. Just like in GTA, baby. The company’s latest title is unlikely to garner the same press coverage as its Grand Theft Auto series since there are no guns.

Wal-Mart enlists bloggers in P.R. campaign
Originally Posted By Michael Barbaro at The New York Times
Parodied by: The Angry Computerist
-Brian Pickrell, a blogger, recently posted a note on his Web site attacking state legislation that would force Wal-Mart Stores to spend more on employee health insurance. It was the kind of pro-Wal-Mart comment the giant retailer might write itself. And, in fact, it did. Under assault as never before, Wal-Mart is increasingly looking beyond the mainstream media and working directly with bloggers, feeding them exclusive nuggets of news, suggesting topics for postings and even inviting them to visit its corporate headquarters. But the strategy raises questions about what bloggers, who pride themselves on independence, should disclose to readers. But some bloggers have posted information from Wal-Mart, at times word for word, without revealing where it came from.

In fact, this site owner, The Angry Computerist aka Vincent Navarino wrote similiarly worded diatribes in favor of Wal-Mart that have appeared verbatim on other blogger sites. Take the blog entry prior to this one, for example: “I spent all day looking for an audio/video switcher and some cables and guess where I found all of them at the end of the day? Cheapest? WAL-MART! I spent all day out and I could have just went straight to %^$#@!ing Wal-MART and been back home in under 30mins? $%#@! you Mom and Pop stores, from now on I’m just going right to WAL-MART and getting what I want cheaper”

Highschool Kids Make Eco Friendly Hybrid Car that Goes 0-60 in 4 seconds!
Originally Posted by Treehugger.com
Parodied by: The Angry Computerist
-The West Philadelphia High School Electric Vehicle Team built this biodiesel car that gets 50 mpg (4.7l/100 km), has over 300 hp and does 0 to 60 in under 4 seconds, all that with a budget of $15,000! The car originally ran on the high schooler’s own abundant supply of pimple oil but after the teens picked up Stridex as a sponsor their faces cleared up and they switched to natural gas produced by eating Hormel Chili in the school cafeteria. After the resulting deaths on the road from the car’s exhaust they quickly switched to soybean oil.

Alaska pipeline spill amount debated
Originally Posted on MSNBC
Parodied by: the Angry Computerist
Industry critic says its huge, BP and state officials say it’s unknown
- A bubbling sound, helped workers pinpoint a leak in a pipeline that allowed thousands of gallons of crude oil to spill onto the frozen tundra in Alaska’s Prudhoe Bay. State, federal and oil company officials said the total amount of oil spilled is still not known, while others are saying that the amount spilled is appx 798,000 gallons, which would make it the second largest oil spill in Alaska, second only to the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Prince William Sound. When contacted about what went wrong, a BP Exploration (Alaska) Inc representative said “I really can’t comment on what went wrong at this time as we’re still investigating the incident, but we don’t really know what happened. I can tell you though that we at BP feel terrible about this tragedy. We all tried so hard to make our target goal at being the #1 oil-spiller in Alaska; see it’s all about being #1 here. We’re devestated.” When asked about a bubbling sound being the only indicator of the leak that stopped the leak and not the 4mile long black stain on the ice with and all the dead sludge-covered whales, birds, seals and polar bears pinpointing the problem the rep replied “Oh that happens all the time here so it was nothing unusual.”

Looking for Something Absurdly Fast? Meet the Acabion
Originally Posted at Treehugger.com
Parodied by: The Angry Computerist
-Claiming to be the next step in the evolution of efficient human transport, the Acabion comes off as an airplane fuselage mounted over a ridiculously fast motorcycle. Appearing at this year’s Geneva auto show, the German-made Acabion is a synthesis of “aeronautic and bionic concepts,” which apparently adds up to a two-passenger vehicle that can do 280 mph at half throttle. No one knows when the Acabion will make it to mass-production but look for a rash of Acabions to be accidently crammed up the tailpipes of 1974 cadillacs driven 25-30mph under the speed limit by Floridian octogenerians shortly thereafter.
—-
Stay tuned for more News According to Vin…