I really hate those blog posts where the blogger makes “witty” observations about the search terms people use to find their sites. These posts are pretty much always not-funny; they’re sad, pathetically lame attempts by the average blogger to post more stuff on their sites ala filler and fluff because they couldn’t think of something (anything) to say. It’s not like the entire blogosphere isn’t already filled overflowing with unentertaining drivel, why the kelp do these lame-brain morons continue to increase the signal to noise ratio by talking… errr… typing when they have nothing to say? It’s OK to NOT post something fellow blog-a-holics when you don’t have anything to say. Really. Seriously, its ok to not speak when you have nothing to say; and for [insert name of deity or holy person here]’s sake, please don’t try to be funny if you don’t know what funny is!. Enough with the %^$#@ing unfunny search terms posts already!

With that said, here are a few search terms that people have used to get to this site.

(pause)

What?

No, I’m not being a hypocrite… wait for it, people. It’s freaking beautiful.

Search Terms Used by People to Find this Site:
ultimate gaming rig - Damned straight, peeps. This is the place to find my UUGM (Ultimate Ultimate Gaming Machine)
french guard taunting - Where the hello-kitty else would you go to see someone say “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries!” ?
photoshop breasts - People have no doubt found my easy 212 step tutorial on how to make that G4 girl in that orange chair’s breasts look better. I’m happy to help.
monitor goes black during games - Finally those stupid game developers got that dynamic lighting right. You just stepped into a cave, stupid. And look your Geforce MX 440 is rendering the dark at a whopping 34fps! WOO-HOO! YAY! WOO!
can one be allergic to mouse droppings - Yes. You can also get a thing called the hantavirus from touching them and die.
chupacabra dark seas - was a freaking great movie!! and is re-airing on the Sci-Fi channel this week (check local listings.) Watch it! You’ll thank me later!
environmentalists are hypocrites - Yes. Yes, they are. They all drive SUVs and wear alligator boots.
going shirtless for marching band - You go girl. And please send pics.
patrick norton’s big red button - Can be found at DL.TV. And no “big red button” isn’t a euphemism for a part of his anatomy, sickos.
screwing a turkey - man, Google Images sure loves that pic I made of Bill Gates and that turkey. *sigh* SO happy…so happy…
cornucopia of evil - yup, you found the right place. Welcome.
pooping lawn gnome statue - dear lord, what did you feed that thing? Ewwww!
girley disease - cooties?
man of la moncha - I can whistle it and I often do.
minnie and vinnie - a popular search on my site if there ever was one. Hi Minnie *wave*
wolfenstein killed karl - Yep, I admit it. I plugged him right in the freaking head. I Killed Karl.
mermaids humping humans - fair’s, fair. I hump them all the time…
it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way - I know, I know. Preach on, brother man!
scott herriott/becky pedigo - are two very awesome people!
burnt peanuts - are great! This here is the #1 site for all your french burnt peanut needs!
how do ball-less mice work? - they scream at a much higher pitch when they get hurt on the job compared to non-gelded mice.
site www.navarinounincorporated.com posted by tim - vanity searching again, Tim? Hehehehe…
better than earthlink - anything is.
soccer moms undressing - what, no link?! Moron.
sarcastically impaired californians - what do you expect, they live in California and the Terminator is their governor. I don’t blame them.
pursuasive letters - I find the letter X to be way more threatening than that wussy, Q.
ipods suck - you’re just jealous you don’t have friends that love you. Nyah!
hot breasts webcomic - I wonder how complex and involved that storyline is going to be…
mistletoe belt clip - you’re a freaking genius! I’ll take $20 worth!

While some of those search terms were pretty funny, the killer is next; the real reason I made this post. The funniest search phrase ever used by people to get to this site is coming up next. Are you ready peeps? You’re gonna laaaugggghhhh…

(drumroll)

And now for the FUNNIEST SEARCH PHRASE EVER USED BY PEOPLE TO GET HERE:

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(I’m laughing my freaking buttski off!) Thankyouandgoodnight! ROFL!