Shortly after Minnietaur and I got into a discussion about online video rentals I decided that going online to rent DVDs wasn’t for me. And then, as per usual, the Universe changed itself majorly in my favor so that I’d be a fool not to leap at it’s latest genuflecting in my general direction.

Both Netflix and Blockbuster Online are now offering free one-month trials. More than tempting but which one would I prefer? Both have the unlimited rental 3-at-one-time offers for $17.95+ tax a month ($20) after the trial period. Both have HUGE libraries of DVDs. However, Blockbuster has what appears to be an even better deal. Electronic coupons for its members that you print out for an extra 52 free DVD rentals a year from its Blockbuster video stores (1 per week.) Sweet!

So which one should I try? Well, since both are offering a month of free rentals, I decided to sign up with both Netflix and Blockbuster Online. After I see the differences between the two I will post a comparison here after the trial periods are over and let you know which service gets my hard earned dough and why, if any.

Is anyone here renting from Netflix, Blockbuster Online or other mail-in DVD rental companies? What are your experiences with these services? Like ‘em? Left ‘em? Enquiring minds want to know…

[The following announcement is for educational purposes only. Any other uses contrary to the stated purpose of this announcement is in direct violation of the Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) and under no circumstances is it to be used to infer that Apple and Pixar CEO, Steve Jobs, lacks genitalia or is a eunuch.]

Every once in a while an unknown utility comes along and does something so needed that I just have to say something and bring it to the light of day. If you’re a regular reader of this blog then you know whether I’m telling the truth or just pretending that I enlighten people.

LJConfig is just such a wonderful utility. LJConfig allows you to control the settings of the following LaserJet printers: 5P/MP/L/L-FS/Xtra, 6P/L, 1100, 1200, 2100, 2200, 3200 and more. These are older printers that do not have a control panel for changing settings anymore in Windows XP due to a lack of drivers. Previously there was no way for XP users to fully use the features of their older LaserJets. This utility allows users to modify the settings of these HP printers for Lines Per Page, Control Panel Display, Tray Locking, Fuser Temperature, EconoMode, REt, and most importantly the Print Density and Resolution settings.

As some of you might remember, I still have the first (and only) laser printer I ever bought, an HP 5L and a few months ago ran across 2 free toner cartridges for it, so I hooked up my 5L only to find out that for these type of printers the only XP drivers are crippled versions that come on the Windows XP CD which do not allow access to most of its settings. Viva LJConfig to the rescue! So now I pass on the knowledge of this great and wonderful utility to all my fellow long-suffering HP Laserjet owners. It’s time to take that “old” 600dpi printer out of the closet and toss that stupid $70 Epson or Brother toy laser printer in the trash where it belongs.

On a side note: a message to the people that used the search phrase “steve jobs anatomically correct penis statue” to get to this site - - - pick up a Ken doll, die the hair black and you have what you’re looking for.

(The real reason Apple switched to Intel chips)

** BLOG UPDATE 04/23/06 **: It’s happened already. Sony VAIO running OSX. Get your umbrella’s ready for those flaming chipmunks!

Thanks to the beauty and wonder of a cold I will be updating my blog very frequently today. Only one email will be going out notifying people who subscribed to my blog’s update mailing list (see under my pic on the right). Let’s see if anyone can spot the entries posted under the influence of cold medicine, shall we? (This single post will grow as I update it throughout my sick day.)

Dual Layer DVDs (8:18am)

Blank dual-layer DVDs are currently still too expensive for mass consumption. At an average price of $2 on sale per disk, compared with an average price of 30 cents per disk for single layer medium, buying DL medium only makes sense to one sector of computerists - DVD Pirates. Therefore there are only two ways I can see for the price of DL to finally come down to where it should be: (1) If no one buys DL media the price will fall (2) more people need to become DVD pirates…

Spiders! (8:45am-8:47am)

Spiders!SpidersEverywhere!getimoffme!getimoff!getimAAIIIEEE!!!

They’reStillOnMe! (8:49am-9:05am)

aIIEEE!getimoff!theystillonme!spiders!spiiiideeerrrrs!AIIIIEEEE!!!

Baby Seals (9:15am)

The real reason fisherman club those suckers; their eyes. THEY *whack!* JUST *whack!* WON’T *whack!* STOP*whack!* STARING *whack!*AT*whack!*US!*whack!**whack!**whack!*

Optical Mice (10am)

Ever have that one stupid spot on your desk that makes the freaking mouse jump back to the top of the screen? I HATE THAT!

Ultimate Geek Shirt (10:45am)

grok milk?

Friend called. Me love friend. (11am-12:30pm)

No, I didn’t call myself. True, I love me but usually not in public. Stupid tickets!

Lunch (12:30-1PM)

One can Campbell’s Vegetarian Vegetable soup. Add some garlic powder, crushed red pepper and some dabs o’hot sauce and instant cold feel better spicey goodness. Ahhhh… Mmm Mmm good.

Obtain Candy (1:30-2:30pm)

Yes, I am in Vegas but wrong kind of candy. 9 bags of Chewy Mini Sweet Tarts purchased. Also saw same beggar at used book store; gave number to old work place for possible job instead of money.

More Cold Medicine (3pm)

glug!glug!glug!

They’reback! (3:10-4pm)

Spiders!SpidersEverywhere!getimoffme!getimoff!getimAAIIIEEE!!!

Count the Blinkies (4:25pm)

How many little blinkie lights are on from electronic gadgets and computers in your room. Count them. My count right now is 18. (Lightbulbs don’t count)

Play Pai Gow Poker (4:45-6pm)

Learned it at the pre-opening of the Red Rock Hotel and Casino. Nice place!
http://www.bodog.com/casino/free-pai-gow-poker.jsp
(Hint: if you need to distract the dealer, use a live chicken)

Finish Book (7-7:40pm)

Friday, by Robert Heinlein was a good read. Loved the main character, who could NOT love this man’s writing? So many wonderful messages wrapped in comfortable, warm and highly imaginative stories. *sniff* I get almost sad when I finish one of his masterpieces… *sniff*

People with Loud Car Stereos

Should die. Horrible horrible deaths. On fire. Definitely on fire! There’s no shortage of these ^%#@!ing maggots. Fire. Screaming in agony. Nothing short will do.

20 cent DVDs (9pm)

Tried out Bargain GQ brand 16x DVD+R from Fry’s. Seem to work just fine. Not bad for 20cents a piece for 4.5Gigs of storage. Label spacing on front kinda small but big whoo-whoo for cheap media. (GQ brand of 52x CDRs suck though, they only burned at 32x)

8 Bags (10:15pm)

Down one bag of Chewy Mini Sweet Tarts! Also down one $%#@!-hole with loud car stereo. Marshmallow bag empty…

Head Cold Test (10:41pm)

In case you didn’t realize you had a head cold, eat some semi-hard cookies and notice the LOUD crunch echoes in your skull while you eat them. Deafening. Mucus apparently amplifies sound in congested head BIGTIME! Mr. Science is proud. Holy $%#@! that’s L-O-U-D!

4am Wakeup (4am!)

A problem with colds is that you wake up sometimes, not even tired at very bad hours. Start to think about the secrets of the Universe, receive much needed epiphany about aforementioned secrets after an hour then fall back to sleep. Wake up. Dig through skull for secrets learned only to find out that knowledge was lost. Ponder. Skip rock across ponder. Wonder if one held onto knowledge would one have woken up? Deep ponder. Need more flat rocks.

There are all kinds of software out there that will help you attempt to recover data on damaged hard drives and floppies but how difficult is it pulling out those damaged bits? What kind of heck are you in for trying it? How painful and frustrating will it be getting data off a bad drive? Can you recover data off of DVDs reliably? Can you do it for free?

There’s really not a lot of clear information out there on data recovery and a situation came up at work where I pretty much needed my ‘Instant Miracle Worker’ hat. One of the ladies was having problems getting their training and orientation video DVD to work. Said DVD was needed working in about an hour and someone smart decided to let me know about it as I was passing by. Not that it was an IT problem, but they knew I was young enough to know what a DVD was and how to get one to work. So I put it in a machine with a DVD-ROM drive and quickly saw that it couldn’t be read. Which meant that there was a problem with the disk. Well, that’s ok you guys have another copy, right?

No.

*blink*

(pause)

And you need it when?

In an hour.

Well, let me see what I can do. (I noticed the look of fear and panic when I see it.)

So I took the fried DVD back to my computer, again tried to read it with no success. Look on the internet for free data recovery software that will read a DVD and pretty much find a bunch of useless software that you have to pay for to find out if it MIGHT work but mostly on floppies and hard drive with no mention if it’ll work on DVDs. And time is a’running out for panicked lady so I spy a program that swears it will allow you to recover data off a DVD so I go for it.

OK IsoBuster, let’s see what you can do. First it told me that it couldn’t read all of the DVD. Then it informed me it could try anyway. So I said yes, please try. Then it made a DVD image. I told it to fill in the blanks, ignore what it couldn’t find and try to see what it could save anyway. It whirred away for about 20 minutes, I clicked on the sessions it said it saw, told it to save them and… oops you have to buy the program to do that. We got the green light to save the day, purchased the $29.95 license and it made a bunch of toa video files I made sure worked via a freeware swiss army knife open source video player, VLC and burned the videos to a fresh new DVD thanks to a standalone DVD recorder. The end result was the panicked lady had her orientation and training DVD back and the only thing that was lost was the beginning of the video which was their logo spinning and looking dumb. And now they have plenty of backup copies too and are very very happy indeed.

If I had more time I’m sure I could have found a free workable direct to VOB data recovery tool (feel free to mention any here peeps) but hey, $30 is a small price to pay for saving a critical DVD and my Instant Miracle Worker status is so in tact that even if I paid the $30 MYSELF it would’ve been worth it for the looks I get right now. Unless my fly is down again, that is…

One especially grating and nagging tech pet peeve of mine appeared around the 90’s thank to tree-hugging, eco-hippy, mink-petting, inbred jobless FREAKS who convinced big time stupid companies that make electronics to remove the on/off switch in devices like my HP 5L printer. Nothing is more aggravating than having something you don’t want on always sucking up the electricity that was keeping Sparky, my pet goldfish alive. See, Sparky had a pacemaker that kept his heart arrhythmia in check and well, let’s just say that when you have a pet and it’s sick you’ll do anything to see that little guy swim with vigor again in his massive 1/2 gallon octagonal ocean… that was the best $52,000 I ever spent. That whole week Sparky was back to his old mini-goldfish self was worth every second and third mortgage. Why if I didn’t purchase the no off-switch HP 5L laser printer, Sparky might have lived for years! Even though the printer was supposed to turn itself off after 15 minutes of non-use, it didn’t and Sparky died because his pacemaker didn’t have enough juice to make his teeny tiny wittle heart beat correctly.

HEWLETT PACKARD KILLED MY GOLDFISH!

I didn’t know at first what killed Sparky. All I know is one day he was swimming powerfully against the rehabilitation current in his tank and the next day I found him floating upside down, lifeless. He was in good shape, swimming in place the day before against the current I provided by stirring the water in his tank with a spatula. His rehabilitation therapist showed me how to do this properly to help Sparky get his strength back after his pacemaker and open heart surgeries. First, I thought that I had accidentally stirred his tank too much causing him to overextend himself too soon and his microscopic heart just gave out. Or perhaps it was the Gatorade I added to his tank, even though the company’s medical representative I called assured me they had tested their product to ensure it wouldn’t kill goldfish? A friend of mine was concerned that perhaps Sparky had choked to death on fish food because Sparky failed to show up for a play date. She left several messages to that affect on my answering machines. Unfortunately, the autopsy later showed that my beloved goldfish’s death was due to his pacemaker not getting enough power.

See kids, a goldfish’s pacemaker does have a teeny tiny battery in it that provides about an hour of reserve juice but it depends on a thin almost unbreakable wire plugged into an electrical jack for constant power. When I hooked the laser printer up there should have been no problem but since it lacked an on/off switch and it didn’t shut down in 15 minutes like it was supposed to, it sucked too much power from the house’s circuits and Sparky died and untimely and tragic death.

HEWLETT PACKARD KILLED MY GOLDFISH!

Heartbroken, I drank heavily and tried hard to conquer my breathing addiction. I hit rock bottom. However, just when i thought it couldn’t get any better, I managed to turn my grief into anger and swore that Sparky’s death, at the hands of the faceless and criminally negligent Hewlett Packard bastards, would not be in vain. Especially after hearing about other reported goldfish deaths, all of which had one shockingly similar contributing factor - devices that didn’t have on/off switches that sucked up too much power which lead to their deaths.

It was then that I took up the cause to put the on/off switch back on electronics and cease these senseless and tragic deaths. With Sparky continually by my side in spirit (and in my pocket - I had him freeze-dried preserved) I took on the stupid electronics companies and made them put back that necessary and live-saving on/off switch in their products again.

The tragedy of this story: I don’t have Sparky anymore (pickpocket incident in Las Vegas), but I do have that %^$#@!ing HP 5L laser printer that killed him. Always on. *sniff* I’d trade it in a day if HP could give me back my Sparky! *sob* I can hardly print out anything now *sob* Everytime that murderous printer powers up or a page prints out *sniff* I think of my beloved Sparky *honk!*

YOU KILLED MY GOLDFISH YOU HEWLETT PACKARD BASTARDS!

And you never once apologized. Or sent a representative to his funeral.

YOU KILLED MY GOLDFISH HEWLETT PACKARD!!

I still have that HP 5L Printer, which I don’t really need but I needed my Sparky!

HP killed my goldfish. They’re bastards!

One of these squares is not like the others.

(Introducing the first installment of a new comic series on this blog called Square Comix. Uh-oh…)