I give you this wonderful gift because I love you all. Dearly. Watch and let joy and love fill your hearts…

(For the deaf readers out there)

I can`t stop this feelin’
Deep inside of me
Girl you just don’t realize
What you do to me

When you hold me
In your arms so tight
You let me know
Everything’s alright

I’m - hooked on a feeling
I’m high on believin’
That you`re in love with me

Lips as sweet as candy
Your taste is on my mind
Girl you got me thirsty
For another - cup of wine

Got a bug from you girl
But I don’t need a cure
I’ll just stay affected
If I can’t be sure

All the good love - when we’re all alone
Keep it up girl - yeah you turn me on

I’m hooked on a feeling
I’m high on believin’
That you`re in love with me

(Solo)

(Breakdown)

I can’t stop this feelin’ - deep inside of me
Girl you just don`t realize - what you do to me

All the good love
When we’re all alone
Keep it up girl
Yeah you turn me on

I’m hooked on a feeling
I’m high on believin’
That you`re in love with me

I’m hooked on a feeling
And I’m high on believin’
That you`re in love with me

*sniff* This video just never gets old! Garunteed to make you smile. You’re welcome everyone. *sniff* I love you all so much…

From time to time my coworkers and I, like everyone else, head down to the nearest chinese restaurant to eat like pigs only to be equally and ravenously hungry thirty minutes later. While this begs the question, why the kelp does anyone eat chinese food, the real reason people go is for that magical, delicate cookie with a paper surprise in the middle. This tiny bit of paper with mysteriously vague writing commands respect for it’s words are of a pure and ancient power. This one little slip of paper hidden in a tasteless, brittle cookie can give us valuable insights into our destinies if we interpret it correctly. A warning, words of caution or whispers of jubilation of good things to come; all layeth inside this weird and timeless horseshoe-shaped snack.

So how do we guess the hidden meaning of these vague Nostradamus-like scribblings / prophecies? Well, thanks to my saving a bunch of these fortunes from our lunch hour at local chinese eateries and analyzing them most carefully I believe I can give you all a quick crash course on correctly interpreting the various futures you might encounter in the center of a tootsie rol… er, fortune cookie. Oh, and if you can’t tell which is the fortune cookie saying and which is the interpretation, might I suggest a career in Kibble Tasting?

You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself - yeah, it was really ambitious of you to climb that University of Texas Tower with the sniper rifle, sicko.
Soon you’ll have a chance at a profitable transaction - What’s a drug dealer with 7 kilos of columbian gold for a hundred, Alex? ($100 for the question not the kilos, Trebek!)
Versatility is one of your stronger traits - yet you still can’t walk and chew gum at the same time can you, ya bedwetter.
You should be able to undertake and complete anything - swing that shovel at your ex’s head one more time and roll the body in that shallow grave you dug just for this occasion. Congratulations, you’re now an undertaker.
You savor the challenge of satisfying your high goals - but yet you never remember to wear pants. Amazing. %^$#@ing amazing.
You will attain the highest levels of intelligence - and still be the dude no one wants on their team at the Special Olympics, He Who Playeth With Oatmeal and Calls It Friend.
Take no risks with your reputation - but feel free to risk others’
You will soon have the opportunity to improve your finances - Just creep up on that sucker real nice and slow… or (b) just sit there and lose everything, putz.
Do not dwell on differences with a loved one - try a comprimise - let’s settle for breathing being the difference, ok?
Generosity and perfection are your assests - and they show - zip up that zipper young man. Not everyone wants it.
You will be successful in a business of your own - for most people that business is unemployment.
Accept the next proposition you hear - he’s a cop! he’s a cop! Don’t tell him your prices!
A mysterious person will soon enter your life - through a shattered window to end yours.
Striving for the best will bring you closer to the best - if strife could do that they wouldn’t call it strife, genius.

Well now, I hope that helps you all understand what those words mean on that little slip of paper. One last tip: you’re not supposed to play those lucky numbers at the bottom. Those numbers represent your chances of having sex with a partner anytime soon using those pickup lines your brother gave you…

A friend and great guy, Jim Louderback has a very funny and heartfelt article about Apple recently at PC Magazine. Read it here.
I emailed Jim back and forth a few times after reading it. If you think the title Boot Camp: Apple Bobs for Suckers is an eye-opener, wait until you read the article! Do you agree/disagree with Jim’s take on Apple’s recent direction? Enquiring minds wanna know! Please share your views.

(Jim Louderback is currently Editor-In-Chief and Vice President of Media Ziff Davis Media Properties including ExtremeTech.com, Microsoft Watch, and the websites for PC Magazine, eWeek and ZDM’s gaming publications.)

Anyone besides me hate Top Ten Lists?

Top One Lists:

Top One Way to Help Promote Your Site:
1. Give stuff away. Like a clock radio, your sister’s clock radio, a TV, your sister…

Top 1 Way to Get More People To Go To Your Site:
1. Sell your sister.

Top 1 Way to Get People to Like Your Site:
1. Tell them what they want to hear, all the time.

Top 1 Way to Get People to Not Like Your Site:
1. Tell them what you think they want to hear, all the time.

Top 1 Reason for Soaring Health Care Costs
1. People won’t die.

Top 1 Reason Why Linux Won’t Be Everyone’s Desktop Solution:
1. It’s Linux.

Top 1 Way to Protect Yourself from Identity Theft:
1. Steal someone’s identity.

Top 1 Way to Get More People To Go To Your Site:
1. Free blow…pops.

Top 1 Way to Lose Friends:
1. Take advantage of another friend.

Top 1 Additional Way to Lose Friends:
1. Pay a friend less hours than they worked.

Top 1 Way to Lose An Actual Friend:
1. Keep getting taken advantage of on purpose.

Top 1 Additional Way to Lose An Actual Friend:
1. Lump an actual friend amongst fake friends as if they’re the same thing. Repeat endlessly.

Top 1 Way to Tell an Actual Friend from a Fake Friend:
1. If you have to lie about a friend to make them sound like a friend, they’re not a friend.

Top 1 Additional Way to Tell an Actual Friend from a Fake Friend:
1. If a friend doesn’t take advantage of you, they’re an actual friend.

Top 1 Reasons You Don’t Own an iPod:
1. You don’t have any friends.

Top 1 Song on Anyone’s List:
1. #1.

Top 1 Thing to do When Attacked By a Bear:
1. Die.

Top 1 Way to Increase Chances of Getting a Date:
1. Axe Body Spray according to those commercials.

Top 1 Way to Stop All Illegal Immigration:
1. Make where they’re coming from look more attractive than the place they’re going to.

Top 1 Way Not To Greet A Police Officer:
1. “Tell your wife I’ve had better.”

Top 1 Way Not To Read Top 1 Lists:
1. Cross eyes. Now you’re reading Top 2 Lists.

Top 1 Way to Tell Difference Between Apple and Other Computers:
1. The logo.

Top 1 Additional Way to Tell Difference Between Apple and Other Computers:
1. The price.

Top 1 Way to Spot a Windows User:
1. The smug smile.

Top 1 Way to Spot a Clueless Windows User:
1. They have a virus.

Top 1 Way to Spot a Smart Computer User:
1. Sex always trumps using a computer.

Top 1 Way to Spot a Really Smart Computer User:
When they have sex they are not alone and there are no public indecency charges.

Top 1 Additional Way to Spot a Really Smart Computer User:
1. They have sex with another person / farm animal / batch of warm oatmeal / etc.

Top 1 Way to Spot Someone Who Pirates Movies, Music or Video Games:
1. The parrot on their shoulder. Dead giveaway. And the Arrrr! speak.

Top 1 Way to Tell if Someone is Squeamish:
1. Serve them spaghetti and meatballs from the abdominal cavity of a cadaver laid out on your dinner table. If they blow chunks the test results are in.

Top 1 Sign that Superman Isn’t Being Portrayed Realistically on the WB’s Smallville:
1. A teenager that doesn’t play with himself?! Surrounded by Chloe, Lana and Lois?! Come on!