Juggling: it gives me the excuse to play w/them in public without the court appearances.

There just isn’t a nice and polite way to say this but I have an affliction / addiction which causes me to play with my balls. A lot. Often in public places much to the chagrin (and often times fascination) of passers-by. Little kids stare and tell their mom to look at what the strange man is doing.

I’m sick. I need help. I just can’t help grabbing my balls and tossing them over my head. Sometimes I grab them both, other times I toss all three. One day I hope to get all four of the suckers in both of my hands and who knows maybe bite them in mid-air…

(pause)

WHAT? Why the hello are you looking at me like that for? Do you mind?

… I wonder what they taste like. Anyways, there just isn’t any nice way to say it but my name is Vincent and I love playing with my balls. Although they’re kind of heavy, hard and quite difficult to handle I persevere through the fumbles, the stumbles and the clapping, staring children and their open-mouthed parents. They say confession is good for the soul but I have to say nothing is more joyous than showing people that new trick you just learned with your balls.

My name is Vincent and I am happy to say that I am a juggler. I juggle baseballs and…

WHAT? Why the kelp are you all looking so freaking relieved?

…as I was saying I can’t stop touching my balls. Juggling them 2 in 1 hand, 3 ball cascades, over and unders, juggler’s tennis and a few other little tricks I’ve learned over time. Playing. With my balls. A lot. In public.

(pause)

I love playing with my balls… uh… because I’m a…

(pause)

Oh! Now I get what you all were… uhm… you were thinking… that I was… talking about… playing with my balls… in public and… yeah, now I get the staring… my balls… ah, yeah.

Geez you people are sick. Freaks! Sick freaks. Sick, sick freaks! You’re all freaking disgusting you know that? Perverts! Shame on you all. Pervs!

So… anyone wanna juggle my balls? *grin* They’re heavy…