Would you believe daily bloggers sometimes post even MORE than once a day? The %$#@!ing nerve! They’re more evil than we thought! But at least the madness is finally over. Here, that is…

Today is the last day of my self imposed torture in joining the useless, incompetently vapid, net-squandering, neanderthalic blogospherians (daily bloggers.) Never before has mankind or the internet seen such a plague of “people” who use infinite words to talk about the totally insignificant. The only applause a daily blogger gets is the sound of millions of people (who are trying to navigate the cluttered web) pounding their heads upon their desks in frustration; desperately seeking relevance in a sea of daily blogging sputum.

So now that for this entire month I denied my morality and became what I most hated, I think I speak with greater insight than ever before when I say the following:

If the world was a just place, daily bloggers would be as well treated as accused witches in Salem. Tie them to a rock, toss them in a lake and if they drown… sorry, you’re not a daily blogger. But, ah, if you manage to survive the weighted dunking, it’s torches and lots of kindling for you. Win-win, I say. The web would surely be a better place with lots more elbow room… and relevant search results!

*sigh* If only.

Well, my self-inflicted torment is now at and end. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to watch the cobwebs grow on this site for a while…

PS. The only good daily blogger is a retired daily blogger. You can do your part by helping retire any daily bloggers you come across. This can be done with some ether and, well, whatever’s handy.

ZZZzzzzzzzzz…. go away. C-o-m-a… good sweet coma…

Pretty self-explanatory. Daily bloggers clutter the net and that makes our downloads slower. STOP IT!

[The following is an interview that happened between me and a blogger from the Blogger’s Association of Daily Dimwits magazine aka BADD]

Things You Look Forward To More Than Daily Blogging:

Everything else.

Things You Hate More Than Daily Blogging:

Nothing.

People You Hate More than Daily Bloggers:

No one. Although Nazis and mimes are close seconds.

What Are You Going To Do When You Stop Daily Blogging:

Take the next day off. Otherwise I haven’t stopped.

Why Do People Blog Daily:

They’re too lazy to add to society.

Do People Actually Read Daily Blogs?

Only by accident. Use GOOGLE!

But Don’t People Comment on Daily Bloggers Blogs?

No. That’s the daily blogger pretending they have readers commenting on their own blogs! Don’t be fooled. They also hug themselves a lot and call their fingers friends.

Do Daily Bloggers Have Friends?

Right before they blogged, yes. After they started… no.

Can You Say One Good Thing About Daily Bloggers?

Thank you for not breeding.

Daily Bloggers Don’t Have Sex?

Think about it. If they were they wouldn’t be $%#@!ing blogging!

If You Could Hate Anyone More Than Daily Bloggers Who Would It Be?

Their parents for not practicing safe sex. And mimes…

Have You Ever Met A Daily Blogger?

Not even by accident.

How Can You Be Sure You’ve Never Met One?

I’m not in jail.

Don’t You Feel Any Sympathy Since Joining Their Ranks This Month?

The opposite actually. I hate them even more. Thankfully it’s impossible for me to hate me so me and me are cool. But now that I know even better about daily bloggers, the hate - it is stronger.

Oh Come On. If You Saw a Daily Blogger Drowning You’d:

Toss rocks.
Hit his head with an oar.
Dive in to push him under better.
Hope I had a big enough toaster to toss in.

Uh… OK… Uhm How Has This Experiment At Daily Blogging Affected You?

I’m a little calmer now.

Sudden End of Interview

With the end in sight being 4 short days away, some people have told me I should continue posting every day on my blog. The pic above reflects my feelings on the matter. What do you think?

Blogospherians (aka daily bloggers) are vain and crave popularity so desperately they offer a thing called subscriptions or mailing lists to apprise their readers when they post a new blog entry. This is so their readers (all 5 of them) don’t forget to check out what vapid and insipidly worthless blatherings the bloggers posts when he posts it. Like if they didn’t receive notices there was something new up, they might actually find a useful site to go to (one hopes) and would finally be free of yet another pointless blog.

To join my mailing list and be notified right after I post each stunningly creative jem, click on the login link on the right sidebar (under MISC) to register. After you register and are validated, you can then sign up to be notifed whenever I speak. Which is a good thing and you should all be %$#@!ing grateful…

Want to know the best way to tell the lamest of the lame daily bloggers out there? Find a blogger that posts lots of those stupid quizzes like “Which Care Bear Are You?,” “What Star Wars Side of the Force Would You Be?,” “Which Ice Cream Flavor Are You?” “What Color of the Rainbow?” or more accurately “Which Dateline to Catch a Predator Are You?”

Stupid online quizzes with lame titles are a sure sign of that sad, sad creature, the daily blogger. First there’s the “Hey quick takes this cool poll!” text then the lame blogger gloriously proclaims their result in taking the quiz, encouraging others to share their scores so the poor net is chock full of joyous replies of “Hey! I’m an Iguana!,” “YAY! I’m chartreuse,” “Woo-hoo I’m an eggo!” and “I got 3-12 years for crossing state lines to go to that cool house with all the cameras and lights!”

So please join the lameness and take the What Website Are You Quiz like I did.

I’m Homestarrunner.com! YAY ME!
Click this link or the pic to take this fantastic quiz (and don’t forget to post your results, kids! Weee!)