Today, this first day of April in the Year of Our Lord 2007 I join my inane, bantering, lame-ass, vain, deludedley self-important, blogospherians *1 in the quintessentially vapid exercise/mantra of the daily blog updates. Throughout the entire month, I will become what I despise, helping to fill the blogosphere *2 with even more useless textual refuse, piling the verbal garbage mound a little higher until it hopefully tips and smothers all the daily bloggers out there so the rest of us can actually waste less of our time looking for something meaningful to read on the interweb *3.

And by the way, Firefox spell check - deludedly is really a word so you can stop freaking red-underlining it!!!! Geez!

Anyways, welcome oh moronic feasters who so crave content that you will read anything as long as it is freshly posted. You worshipers of content! content! content! that feed off the teat of the daily bloggers, uncaring as to if they are male or female. You’re like sick, perverted mutated remoras, part of the overall problem but not at fault here. And as such you have my pity as I jar you all in vats of formaldehyde alongside my preserved and pickled Care Bears collection.

Daily bloggers litter the landscape of the interweb *4, so much so that surfing the net is sometimes like swimming in a huge tacky pool of regurgitated textual quicksand that sucks surfers under with far more rapidity than the La Brea Tar Pits.

And so as I join my new (and always despised) brethren and become a daily blogger for the entire month of April I hope you all will understand the true gravity of the situation and instead of reading like a lemming, eschew all daily bloggers by reading a book, playing with your siblings, learning something important like CPR or volunteering some of your valuable time to community service sans court order.

Meanwhile, I’ll be busy like my new daily blogging friends, tossing out the tripe…

Endnotes: *1,2,3,4 - find the explanations yourselves you lazy bastards