This Monday at 3:38pm, after almost 3 years of outstanding and excellent performance, I was (very reluctantly) forced to say goodbye to my Ultimate Ultimate Gaming Machine (aka UUGM).

Everyone who knows me knows how long I took to ponder, plot and select every single component that went into UUGM. The long days, the long nights, the even longer middles… *sigh*

For the past 3 years UUGM and I were a team. Closer than friends, perhaps a teensy-weensy, smidge too close for those that accidentally stumbled upon us enjoying our “private time” together. Sure, sometimes we forgot to close the door but really, those that thought the love we shared was sick really should look at their own sad little lives a tad more to realize just how special our bond was. We never argued, fought like cats and dogs or hurt each other.

But oh how we did kill a LOT together.

She was **THE** Ultimate Ultimate Gaming Machine and I was her creator, her friend and her lov–errr–someone she wanted to please in return for giving her life. She’d do anything for me and I do mean anything. Enthusiastically. And if I liked it, she did it some more. With feeling. And on special nights, covered in honey and with all her lights on.

Is that so bad? Shut up, who asked you?

We gamed like no other. She was sleek, fast, sexy in red and had a rear panel that you could bounce a can of compressed air on. When we gamed, we connected. Came together. Became one.

Shut up.

She was the Laurel to my Hardy. The Godiva to my chocolate. The auto-aim bot to my Quake…

But now she’s gone. Powered down, forever.

Goodbye my sweet, sweet UGM! No one fragged like you, babe…