Special C, my adopted sister / upstairs neighbor made me The Perfect Lemonade this morning. I feel so sorry for all of you out there that have deluded yourselves to thinking and erroneously enjoying the swill you dare call lemonade…

Powdered? *gasp*
Imitation? *shudder*
From concentrate? *WTF?!*
Now with 10% more weasel pee? *disgusting*
Gourmet Lemonade mixes? *you poor, poor fools*

Nothing can compare to the joy, the simplicity, the oral, tastebud rapture of The Perfect Lemonade!

Why it’s so freaking simple to make, one has to wonder why there are so many pitiful imitations out there, let alone how many morons that sadly and purposefully drink the stuff… *yuck*

I mean, it’s not like you’re all saving a bunch of time using these abominations and the trade off is, well… yellow-tinged pee looking awfullness. *blech!*

I’ll do all you “lemonade” drinkers a HUGE favor, what I like to call a public service. Here’s how you make the real deal, The Perfect Lemonade:

1. Put some cold, filtered water into a glass with ice.
2. Add fresh squeezed lemon juice.
3. Dollop in some Simple Syrup (*) to taste.
4. That’s all there is to it, folks.

Suck on that, Country Time!

PS. If you people can’t be bothered with the simplicity of making The Perfect Lemonade, aka squeezing a lemon or two and boiling water and sugar, then we’re all doomed as a people.

PPS. It also helps to serve The Perfect Lemonade in a pretty glass like the one mine was mixed in (see pic above). The blue bottle holds the Simple Syrup aka Sweetener of the Gods. Blue bottle not necessary but it so complimented my eyes…

-Goodnight Heathens

*Simple syrup is 1 part water and 1 part sugar boiled together and allowed to cool.