In a desperate bid to stop an intergalactic war that has been going on for thousands of years, I posted the following personal ad on the Las Vegas Craigslist boards yesterday:

Illegal Alien Looking to Bed a Predator (Earth)

Single Illegal Alien looking for loving relationship with a real Predator.
7 1/2 feet tall
Black
6′ serrated prehensile tail
12″ extendable jaws
Acid for blood

Landed on your planet 3 weeks ago because of damage to ship from an attack by rival species called Predators. Sole survivor. Tired of all the biting and fighting. Personally rather make love not war. Looking to have a peaceful fun time with a Predator. If you’re a Predator and want to try some bi-racial rough cross-species encounters of the lustful kind please stop trying to exterminate me. If you enjoy mutual hunting of the local dominant life-forms, have a fondness for skin like rubber, are not disgusted by profuse body mucus and enjoy deep claw and tail slashes to your back then we can make this work.

If interested meet me in room #312 at the Luxor Hotel and Casino on the Las Vegas Strip. The beds are comfy and resistant to claws, body spikes and excited tail slashing. Their soundproofing is excellent so we won’t be kicked out for disturbing anyone with all the hissing and roaring. If we get hungry we can always split a magician between us, they won’t be missed as they have plenty. You can have dibs on the fatter one from Penn & Teller.

* Location: Earth
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

See kids, there are many proper uses for technology as we know it and trying to broker a truce between Aliens and Predators is a definitely a great use of technology and the web. Another plus, if the mediation goes through, we might be looking forward to a new family show on the CW network called “We Burst Out of the Chests of the 7th Heaven Family and Ate Your Dog.” Can’t wait for the promos!

So far I’ve got quite a few responses from the ad and there’s hope that this tragic interstellar war between two alien species might be coming to and end. I have to hop a plane and get to the Luxor before Teller has to wear a fat suit and start talking. If it was Celine Dion in danger you wouldn’t be able to budge me with a howitzer. Or a ham sandwich.

If you want to see the ad itself on Cragslist and possibly vote it for best of craigslist status, click here while it’s still up. Thumbing through all the email responses so far, oooh Danae Lynn sounds very interesting. Gotta go!