I just bought 4 half-gallons of GREAT ice cream. 2 Vanillas, 1 Chocolate (I love you mom!) and a Mint Chocolate Chip. $1.99 each.

I’m currently listening to Boondocks by Little Big Town. Yeah, and it calls to me like a warm wind blowing…

I keep a pencil in the car so I can write down and try to find songs I heard on the radio. I used to have it there so I could write down ideas I thought of but all those accidents around me kept getting in the way of my jotting them down as I drove.

There’s an evil cat on my bed. I petted the kitty for a few minutes - no scratchies! Purr! Purr!

My laptop is busy downloading stuff to the left of me.

Somewhere above my head a ceiling fan churns to make it cooler in my room. Ok, well not somewhere, clearly it’s in my room and above my head. I know, I gave that one away.

Now I’m listening to Tim McGraw’s Live Like You’re Dying - I went skydiving, I went rocky mountain climbing, I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu…

I bought a nice 8 device learning remote specially geared for DirecTV/Dish/Cable that’s pretty light and has conveniently located buttons. I haven’t programmed it yet, so I can’t tell you if it works as advertised. $16 from Target. Boo-freaking-ya!

I could network my laptop and one of my 2 desktops together with ease but I prefer using a 4gb SanDisk Cruizer flash drive to transfer files. I could use USB extender cables from both computers so that they lie next to each other right next to my keyboard but instead I use a USB Switch Hub to share the drive with a flick of a button. Vewwy vewwy convenient!

Tim McGraw’s Southern Voice is now playing on my speakers. Hank Williams sang it, Number 3 drove it Chuck Berry twanged it…

I also picked up 2 packs of sugar crack ala Chewy Mini Sweet Tarts from Target as well that I’m debating running downstairs and eating. Maybe not the best idea to down sugar crack late at night. The dreams are sure cool though. Lots o’ colors!

The doggies need to go out soon. It’s almost 11pm. If I forget to give them a biscuit afterwards, no worries they remind me. The stitches come out tomorrow. Theirs.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report has been on repeats all freaking week long, which sucks! Modern Marvels was good tonight though, watched Steam Power and Muscle Cars. Even sat through the commercials. The guy that does the voice, good job man! Never boring, always holds my interest. Thanks Max Raphael! Hey Gabe Doran you put me to sleep all the time when I try to watch How Stuff Works…

Hey, this volume knob on my keyboard really comes in handy when listening to music. Thanks Dell Enhanced USB Multimedia Keyboard!!

Just gave the Satan-cat her Purina Cat Chow Indoor formula. It smells like the cardboard bag but hey she loves it, so feh.

I like to drink my coffee in a very-chipped Good Housekeeping weird mug. Dunno why, I just do.

Speaking of coffee. I leave the spoon in and use it like a handle with my thumb. Anyone else do this?

God, I hate those new Power Ranger Daleks! How can you be scared when brightly colored Tupperware comes around the corner and shouts “Ex-ter-mi-nate!"? Oooh, look at the cute little baby. Are you cranky little fella? Come here, let me pop your head turret and burp ya you little silly… *burp* There, that’s better. Here, let me pour my leftover soup in you before you go off again…

I have wildly eclectic taste in music, even though I’m only listening to country right now as I type. Jesu Joy of Man, Jagged Little Pill, Gaga (and Greyson Chance’s) Poker Face and hey while we’re at it let’s toss in Chris DeBarge’s Don’t Pay the Ferryman!

Should I type some more? Nah, time to go grab a snack. You schmucks are on your own again. Byes!

PS. Enjoy life! It’s a limited time offer.

It has been almost a week since the open/eject button shot out of my DVD burner and I’m still scared. Somewhere on my bedroom floor it lurks, seethed in anger and bathed in thoughts of revenge. Late at night I can hear it rolling around, stalking me in my chair or under my bed as I try not to give it the chance it’s waiting for by falling asleep. It wants to kill me. Like Freddy Kruger only it doesn’t have those knives on it’s fingers. Or fingers. Or hands, legs, torso or that cool striped shirt come to think about it.

I never thought how a little round plastic open/eject button would feel constantly being poked by my massive, throbbing and fleshy pointer finger hundreds upon hundreds of times; if not thousands. The constant poking of my fleshy digit must have driven it mad, like those water drops from Chinese Water Torture did to paid actors on bad TV shows.

My drive’s eject button, driven by it’s desire to exact vengeance on me and powered by it’s plastic anger evolved and somewhere on my floor it waits for the right moment to strike.

It could wait until I went to go down the stairs and roll under my descending foot causing me to trip and fall, breaking my neck.

It could roll into one of the wheels on my bed and slowly inch me forward into the jaws of a Great White shark like poor Quint. But I’m not on a boat called the Orca and Jaws was just a movie.

It could roll dust bunnies from under my bed into a dust bunny ladder of sorts, pushing more dust bunnies up my nose and mouth suffocating me in my sleep! AAAAAaaaahhhh!!!

It could encourage my other DVD burner’s rectangular eject button to evolve, spring to freedom and together, there would be no stopping them! Think about the sheer unbridled power a rectangular and circular piece of plastic could achieve powered by their undying hatred of me?

I live in constant fear, I’m not safe until I find that button! Sure I haven’t really looked that hard for it but that’s besides the point, dammit!

How was I supposed to know that in burning that many discs the drive’s button would hate me so much it would escape and plot to kill me?! In my own bedroom?! Ok, I doubt it matters where a small black round piece of plastic plans to kill me; but I can’t help thinking of these small bits when my life is in danger!

I didn’t know! I’m sorry little round plastic eject button! I didn’t know!

*sob*

I’m too young to be murdered by a tiny little round piece of black plastic!

IT’S NOT FAIR! *sob* I DON’T DESERVE TO DIE! YOU ^&%$#@ing HEAR ME PLASTIC EJECT BUTTON?!

*sob*

I’M GOING TO GET YOU BEFORE YOU GET ME ROUND PLASTIC EJECT BUTTON! DO YOU $%#@!ING HEAR ME? I’M COMING FOR YOU EJECT BUTTON! WITH A VACUUM CLEANER!!! YOU HEAR THAT STUPID WANT TO KILL ME PLASTIC EJECT BUTTON?! I’M COMING FOR YOU EJECT BUTTON!!! AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

As a tried and true, black and blue computer übergeek there are so many things that flash in my mind I can only manage to grasp a tiny fraction of them before they fade as quick as they appeared in my pretty wittle geeky head. Herein this latest chapter I will try to write them down:

Does it mean you’ve burned far too many DVDs if the eject/close button on your DVD writer pops off and skitters under one’s bed? I’ve never had something like that happen before and I’m kinda scared at the moment to go look for it…

Ever since the agnostic but godly Russel T. Davies resurrected Doctor Who (all bow in humble gratitude) they filmed a behind the scenes companion show for each episode, called Doctor Who Confidential. Unfortunately it only airs in the UK. BBC America is holding out on us Over-the-Ponders aka the States, aka the United States and that’s decidedly unfair and more than a little mean. Come on BBC America we now have Russel T. Davies, Julie Gardner and David Tennant, you might as well send those confidentials our way or we’ll nab Steve Moffat too and the TARDIS while we’re at it. You know we’ll do it. We’re a bit cheeky as you say it that way.

If you need to have a computer doing something like downloading stuff while you’re asleep it’s best to use a laptop as they’re much quieter than desktops and that annoying fan noise won’t drive you nuts while you’re trying to sleep. What’s that? You don’t have computers in your bedroom? What kind of geeky pretender are you?! Oh, a bad one. No laptop for you!

Blockbuster has all the new releases now like Avatar right when they come out while Netflix doesn’t. Or Redbox. So now I guess they’re OldFlix and Oldbox, eh? Can you hear all those people getting Blockbuster or Blockbuster Online accounts now? I can! I can! I did! I did!

I can’t find a way to contact Russel T. Davies or Julie Gardner and I really, really, really need to. Or rather they really, really, really need me to. seriously. This time the Internet has really let me down. Or has it? Hey RTD and JG, please hit the Contact link at the bottom of this page. You’ll be happy you did. What? Feel left our David? Not to worry, you too. Clicky clicky wibbly wobbly timey wimey!

Buttered popcorn is one of the worst $%#@!ing snacks you could eat while using a computer. Sonufa… $%#@!ing… $#@itch!

9 out of 10 statistics are wrong.

The Time Crash Children in Need special was so great, mere words cannot describe. It was a heartfelt tribute to the past from the present and I lost it as David uttered “All my love to long ago.” Bravo all, bravo. If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, you’re not an ubergeek; you’re a decorative vegetable.

If you fall asleep on your keyboard you’re doing it right.

I used to think Facebook and the people that used it were completely worthless but getting Betty White to host Saturday Night Live was a real accomplishment. You’ll never top that guys, so it’s time to shut Facebook down go outside and get eaten by Dingos. Or bears.

I’ve picked up an iPad at a store and tried it for awhile. My site looks good on it, but otherwise the thing sucks. Way too limited; they should give them away in cereal boxes.

There’s 1,024 bytes in a megabyte unless you’re a hard/flash drive manufacturer then there’s only 1,000. Man do I hate you guys. Almost as much as I hate people that talk in movie theaters. No, wait more. Sometimes I can understand what they’re saying…

Science Fiction is the preferred programming of the geeks. Good/brilliant science fiction is for the ubergeek (and usually comes from the UK).

A computer is a tool, sadly so can it’s user be.

I want a TARDIS for my desk. It has to be at least 2′ high and free. Someone please help me out with that. I deserve it turning so many people I know onto the Doctor and Torchwood.

Garamond is not my type. I love Arial. Not the mermaid, but if she loses those shells… va-va-va-VOOM!

Do you know what happens when you wind up stuck on a spaceship galaxies away from your home? If you’re Voyager you get a little sad, bond with your crew mates and look forward to the adventures taking the long way home.

If you’re the crew from Stargate Universe, you fall to pieces, get depressed, stay depressed and after 17 depression filled episodes your depression reaches your viewers until they too become depressed.

Bravo.

Never before has a single show been so chock-full of depression that it spilled through the television set to it’s viewership.

Bravo.

17 episodes and they still haven’t figured a way to gain any control of the ship they’re on.

17 episodes and they still haven’t had any sort of real good time.

17 episodes and other than having a round glow-y disk that spins called a Stargate there’s nothing in this show that has any passing resemblance to a Stargate series like good action, quality, writing or passion.

17 episodes and they’re all eating the same vanilla pudding.

17 episodes and you can tell the actors are really getting annoyed at trying to work with nothing.

17 episodes and you have to wonder if the execs at the studio realize they’ve been had. The audience figured this out immediately.

Never before has a single show sucked out all the happy out of the entire small screen. The previous record holder were the shows on the Lifetime channel but that was a whole network and this is a single show.

Stargate Universe is so depressing it only took 10 episodes before one of the characters committed suicide. Probably to get off the show because the actor was 2 episodes away from doing it for real.

Yeah, I know… it’s depressing. We get it. Seriously we’ve got depression now.

Way to kill a franchise guys. You can stop now.

[end review. *BLAM!* tink!tink!]

Hello Computer.

My name is Vincent. Do you remember me? I remember you. How can I ever forget the first time we were introduced? My eyes lit up and so did your cathode ray tube. We stared at each other, eyes and cursor unblinking. It was like we both knew that in the other we had found our soul mate, finally at long last. Even though we were both virgins; young, clean pure and unviolated but that was soon to change in an orgy or pure carnal interests, youthful vigor and unashamed enthusiasm. We never cared who or how many watched us as we lustfully shared each other completely. We were young, uninhibited and wild. Our co-joining was intense!

I was 15 and you weren’t even a year old. The age difference was not a problem for us, we only saw the love we had for each other, reflected in my eyes and your black and white monitor screen.

I learned to play your keyboard like a maestro while you learned to stroke my blossoming mind like it’s never been stroked before, causing all my gray matter to explode with eye-opening wonder. There was no refractory period; I was youthful and full of excited, endlessly curious energy. You turned me on with your infinite capabilities while I turned you on by flipping your power switch. We were both insatiable.

You were my first. Unforgettable. And though I was not your first I knew you like no other. I understood that I had to share you with countless others but while they all thought they were the one you loved I knew it was me. I watched as they used you from across the room, breathless waiting for my turn when I could be with you again. Even at the times when I had to share you with three or four of them at the same time I knew they meant nothing to you and that I was the only one you were really with in those moments.

Never jealous, never questioning, always accepting you for what you were, the time we spent was so special I always look back at those wondrous times with a smile on my lips and inside my mind and heart.

After I graduated I had to leave even though I wanted to stay. You always encouraged me to look ahead at new possibilities with excitement and not regret. I’ll always remember the last time we were together. We shared each other until spent. My fingers could type no more, my face lay on your cool, sensuous keyboard; our last session so consuming and rough your stringy-floppy tape broke.

Like you later on I had many, many others that I shared myself with but sometimes even when I was with them with their newer smelling cases and firmer chips, I thought of you. Once or twice I even called out your name in the middle of a computer session. You will always be special to me no matter how many more I share myself with.

Thank you for helping guide me from a boy to a man, a nerd to a geek, a computer virgin to an experienced and confident ubergeek. Thank you.

I love you TRS-80! I will always love you!

<<Vincent B. Navarino>>
With Deepest Love and Fondest Memories