It has been almost a week since the open/eject button shot out of my DVD burner and I’m still scared. Somewhere on my bedroom floor it lurks, seethed in anger and bathed in thoughts of revenge. Late at night I can hear it rolling around, stalking me in my chair or under my bed as I try not to give it the chance it’s waiting for by falling asleep. It wants to kill me. Like Freddy Kruger only it doesn’t have those knives on it’s fingers. Or fingers. Or hands, legs, torso or that cool striped shirt come to think about it.

I never thought how a little round plastic open/eject button would feel constantly being poked by my massive, throbbing and fleshy pointer finger hundreds upon hundreds of times; if not thousands. The constant poking of my fleshy digit must have driven it mad, like those water drops from Chinese Water Torture did to paid actors on bad TV shows.

My drive’s eject button, driven by it’s desire to exact vengeance on me and powered by it’s plastic anger evolved and somewhere on my floor it waits for the right moment to strike.

It could wait until I went to go down the stairs and roll under my descending foot causing me to trip and fall, breaking my neck.

It could roll into one of the wheels on my bed and slowly inch me forward into the jaws of a Great White shark like poor Quint. But I’m not on a boat called the Orca and Jaws was just a movie.

It could roll dust bunnies from under my bed into a dust bunny ladder of sorts, pushing more dust bunnies up my nose and mouth suffocating me in my sleep! AAAAAaaaahhhh!!!

It could encourage my other DVD burner’s rectangular eject button to evolve, spring to freedom and together, there would be no stopping them! Think about the sheer unbridled power a rectangular and circular piece of plastic could achieve powered by their undying hatred of me?

I live in constant fear, I’m not safe until I find that button! Sure I haven’t really looked that hard for it but that’s besides the point, dammit!

How was I supposed to know that in burning that many discs the drive’s button would hate me so much it would escape and plot to kill me?! In my own bedroom?! Ok, I doubt it matters where a small black round piece of plastic plans to kill me; but I can’t help thinking of these small bits when my life is in danger!

I didn’t know! I’m sorry little round plastic eject button! I didn’t know!

*sob*

I’m too young to be murdered by a tiny little round piece of black plastic!

IT’S NOT FAIR! *sob* I DON’T DESERVE TO DIE! YOU ^&%$#@ing HEAR ME PLASTIC EJECT BUTTON?!

*sob*

I’M GOING TO GET YOU BEFORE YOU GET ME ROUND PLASTIC EJECT BUTTON! DO YOU $%#@!ING HEAR ME? I’M COMING FOR YOU EJECT BUTTON! WITH A VACUUM CLEANER!!! YOU HEAR THAT STUPID WANT TO KILL ME PLASTIC EJECT BUTTON?! I’M COMING FOR YOU EJECT BUTTON!!! AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!