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This Tuesday I boarded a plane all by myself to visit a beyond beyond beyond great friend of mine. And when that fell through I visited my other brother from a different mother (didn’t want to waste all that dough). It was the first time I’ve ever traveled on an airplane alone and I felt like getting a Big Kids meal at Burger King to celebrate this momentous occasion. That is until I saw that somehow at airports, the price of a Big Kids meal is the same as a Lamborghini (the 2010 LP670-4 SV model of course). Yeesh, and I thought the oil and credit card companies were out of hand; someone should really do something about those airport gypsies! Although come to think of it, their prices are 25% lower than movie theater concession stands…
Anywhoo, thanks to American Airlines for providing me with a great deal, $227 for round-trip nonstop flights to Texas and back I booked my trip and informed my lucky host I was coming over for a few weeks. Surprisingly he didn’t leg it and was very happy I was traveling over 1,100 miles at 34,000 feet to stay for a few weeks. What can I say, all my friends are ing .
I usually don’t have any problems packing but life at the ole homestead was unusually hectic with minor and major disasters (not to me, the Universe as always luvs me) so instead of having 36 hours or so to pack and organize everything, I had about 27 minutes or so, give or take 27 minutes.
I had a lot to do and no time to do it. I needed to pack, I had to buy new sneakers, clean up a few hard drives and then there was my laptop to configure.
This would be my laptop’s first trip on a plane (first trip anywhere actually) and it was real excited to be loaded with a lot more software than usual. Since this was it’s first trip it was a little nervous but my iPod Nano told it all about it’s trip a few years back and lappy calmed down. Before I left I accidentally made sure that my laptop case was chock full of enough cables, wires and electronic doo-dads to look like a tick-tick-tick-BOOM thingy on X-ray. The case was bulging at the seams with all kinds of tech, it’s a wonder it didn’t explode! I still can’t believe when they scanned it no one tackled and body searched me.
Because something in my wallet is impervious to being scanned (it’s gotta be my Jersey Mike’s card, I just know it), I got to go through one of those body scanners you hear about that enable people to see your junk and make late-night Showtime flicks with. I think the person at the other end liked what they saw because they asked me to jump up and down and do a few pelvic thrusts to help “calibrate the machine.”
I even got a phone number. I wonder if it was from a man or woman.
In passing, one of the things I didn’t like was kicking off my brand new shoes that took hours to find that fit my feet perfectly. And when I took my belt off too, as I was looking around I couldn’t help but think thank The Maker that there was never an underwear bomber. Although there were a few ladies in line I’d love to see if there was, the view would have been spoiled by the other 257 hairy and plump Quasimodos aka “average Americans.” *shudder*
That’s it for now peeps, next time I’ll post some travel tips and highlights. Smell ya later…
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